I need some advice from other moms about my son, Joey. This may sound stupid to some of you, but this is an honest concern I have, and maybe some of you have some solutions I'm not seeing. My biggest problem with Joey is getting him to eat. I swear the kid is NEVER hungry. It surprises me sometimes how long he can go without eating at all, or eating so little. Obviously he's growing and developing fine, so I'm not concerned with his growth - I know he's eating enough to grow, but it's more of a disipline thing.
Take this morning for example: He got up and I asked him what he wanted for breakfast - he said he didn't know. So I asked if he wanted some eggs with cheese like his Grammy made him the other day (he ate them for her....) and he said yes. I asked if he wanted sausage, too, and he said no. So I made the eggs with cheese. I babysit and the little guy I babysit who is Joey's age was here too, so I made him eggs and cheese too. I sit them down at their little table and Ethan wolfs down his eggs. Joey sits there looking at them. I coax him into taking one bite - which he did. So in the time it took Ethan to eat all of his eggs, Joey had only taken one bite. Then I got him to take another bite, which he ended up holding in his mouth forever until I let him spit it out. Ugh. So, he only had one bite of eggs for breakfast, and when it came time for lunch today, he started balking at that, too.
In August he will be going to pre-school - in the morning. Many times when I sit him down to eat, if he eats all his food, it takes an hour! Don't get me wrong - I don't expect him to be a part of the 'clean plate club' at every meal, but I do expect him to at least take a few bites. I worry when he starts going to preschool, he will rarely actually eat anything before he goes, because there's nothing he really likes, and even if he does eat it takes him FOREVER. I do give him carnation instant breakfasts sometimes, but even that takes him like 3 hours to actually finish drinking it - by the time he's done with it, it's time for lunch. He will eat his food and stuff faster if I hover over him saying 'Joey eat, Joey eat, Joey EAT' but that REALLY gets old for me and Joey. And then I think he feels so much pressure to eat that it makes him not want to eat.
So this is the solution I've come up with for now... Let me know what you think, if you think it will work, or if you have any other suggestions. I'm trying it with lunch as we speak. Joey LOVES his cars - they are all he plays with. He also loves anything chocolate. I put his favorite two cars on the counter, along with a piece of chocolate. I set the kitchen timer we have for 40 minutes (ample time I think...) and told him he needs to eat, and if he eats enough by the time the beeper goes off, then he will get his cars and the chocolate, but if not, then the cars and chocolate will stay there until dinner tonight.
So far it's working - he's eating his food. But I know he has no concept of time and he's actually really stressed about it. He keeps wanting me to sit with him because he thinks the timer will scare him when it goes off. But it is accomplishing the goal - he is eating. I don't think he's tasting, but he's eating quickly because I told him I'll turn it off if he eats enough...
What do you think? Do you think it would be good for me to continue setting the timer when he's eating to encourage him to stay on task and eat with a prize at the end? Do you have any ideas of what else I can do? Did you ever deal with anything like this with your kids? I know it's totally normal for kids to not want to eat and to take forever, but when it's every day, every meal it really gets old! Help!! :-)
4 months ago
6 comments:
Sarah, kids are so weird like that! Aaron has gone to bed hungry a couple of times because he didn't want to eat 1 green bean. That's all we asked him to eat of his dinner. If he was hungry, he would eat it. A lot of times in the morning he isn't hungry for breakfast when I have to serve it for Dallin (since he has to be at preschool @ 9). So I feed Aaron around 10. Then there are times when he surprised us and eats a ton. He isn't losing weight and is healthy and happy, so I don't worry. Joey will need to bring a snack everyday in preschool. Sitting with his friends and eating his snack will be positive peer pressure, I am sure. So even if he doesn't eat breakfast, he'll eat his healthy snack that he brought from home. Good luck!
Joey and Caleb are alike in a lot of ways. When it comes to finding ways to get him to eat, I have done the timer thing too and he feels this "anxiety" also. So, as I have thought about it (and while this may sound way "mormon-eee" I have taken to prayer b/c it is just the most FRUSTRATING thing sometimes)...and for ME I just feel that it really isn't worth the fight. There are times that I am "mean" and say "sorry you will eat at least 5 bites b/c you are 5 yrs old or else you will go to bed rightnow" and then there are other times that I say "fine, don't eat but you won't eat ANYTHING until the next meal time". (He also doesn't get snacks when I notice that he isn't eating at meal times) Like everyone always says, and you know this, he will eat when he wants to. You know, encourage him and stuff, but really its just a big guessing game. There is no magical answer other than you know your son and you know when you can "force" him to eat something, and when its time to just say forget it so it doesn't creat a HUGE fight. This probably just sounds like I went on and on about nothing... :o) OH--I noticed that once Caleb started school he started eating TONS better b/c his friends were eating AND when someone other than me (his teachers) tell him he has to eat 5 bites, he does it a WHOLE LOT better for them!!
I don't have any advice but I do remember my mom saying she could never get me to eat breakfast. Even through high school I remember many days when I didn't eat until lunch. I also still don't like breakfast foods in the morning. I'd rather have a sandwich for breakfast and eat scrambled eggs for dinner! It's so weird. I hope you can get the advice you need. I'll ask my sister what she does for her kids because I know she's had this struggle with hers before.
Kaili totally does the same thing and I have tried all those tricks as well. I finally consulted my "Parenting with Love and Logig" book. (It is amazing if you haven't read it!) It says that there is no point in getting upset about thing you have no control over (easier said than done). This includes things like sleeping and eating, both problems at my house. So I had to conciously decide that if she wasn't hungry, fine, but no snacks until the next meal. If she says she's hungry, I explain to her that I'm sorry and sometimes I'm hungry too when I don't eat my meals. The truth of the matter is that kids are much better judges of their hunger than adults are, and if he is growing fine, he probably IS fine. Deciding not to get upset has made all the difference for me and I enjoy meals much more now. I hope that helps. :)
I think you are on the right track. No on wants meal times to drag on and whether he eats one bite or 100 bites, you don't want to sit there forever, so I think it is a good lesson to learn that meal times only last a certain time and then life goes on. Basically- you do what feels right to you- no one else opinion matters. That is the fun and hard thing about being a mom. :) Hang in there- you are a good mom with two good kids! :) (thanks again for babysitting!!!!!!!!!!)
Sara, you are a great mom. It's a good sign that you are worrying about this because this is something most of us have dealt with (and are still dealing with). Somedays my kids (even my 9 year old) will eat like a bird, as I like to say, but others they can eat as much as an adult. Sometimes it's hard for me to remember that even a fist-size amount of food is a normal portion, so if your little Joey eats only about as much as his fist, then you are good. And there will be times when he will eat a bite of one thing and call it good, but don't worry since he's healthy. If he were gangly and didn't have any energy to play, then you could worry, but he's not. :)
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