So this blog is supposed to be a journal, and I haven't done much journalling. If none of you read this whole thing, consider yourselves lucky because it's 12:30 at night and I just feel like rambling about things that are going on recently - everything and nothing! I figure if nothing else, my kids will enjoy reading it someday getting a little insight as to how... out there their mom's brain is some times!
Kris and I just got done watching August Rush. What a depressing movie!! Yea, it ended all happy and cheery, but ugh! I just don't like to think about parentless children or homeless children - let alone both! We are so happy in our little bubble here that it's hard to remember sometimes that there are CHILDREN who face this horrible world alone EVERY DAY. And I complain sometimes?? What's my problem? Along with this, my reading recently has been quite depressing - I just finished reading the 'Pelzer' series - 'A Child Called It', 'The Lost Boy', and 'A man named Dave' all by David Pelzer and also 'A Brother's Journey' and 'A Teenager's Journey' by Richard Pelzer. Wow - You know - some times I REALLY wonder why the Lord allows such serious child abuse to occur. Yes - I know it is to the abuser's own condemnation, but geez - those kids never even get a chance to LIVE, you know? Its things like that that make me realize how incredibly blessed I was and am. I don't know why I was so blessed to be born into a loving LDS house hold and to have a mainly carefree childhood. Then how I was blessed to grow in the gospel, marry a worthy guy, have all the comforts we have, have the happy healthy children we have and so on. Sometimes I wonder when the rug will be pulled out from under us, because really, I don't see how anyone can be this.... amazingly blessed! And I really don't feel I did anything to 'deserve' it. Hm. I just hope I can be the kind of mother that allows her children to truly have the childhood every child should have. I know I'm not near patient enough with them. I hope they always know I love them and I hope I can get a handle on my temper. They are such sweet babies and after reading those books and watching August Rush, I really want to give them everything every child should have but not many children do.
Kris is doing well, but is really stressed with work. Being part owner of a business, the economy crashing is doing a number on not only the country as a whole, but on the business as well. He works so hard and does so much I worry about him. I'm such the kind of person that says 'sit back - it'll all work out' but he's more of a worrier and can't rest until the business problems are resolved - and obviously that takes a while! I feel for him how stressed he always is - I wish there was some way I could help. The business is doing well, don't get me wrong, but it is taking a hit and that is hard on him.
Savanna is amazing as ever!! I can't believe she's almost 8 months old. Anyone who sees her comments on how happy she is. And she really is a happy baby. She just recently started 'separation anxiety'. It's actually kind of cute since it's not to the extreme yet. Like she'll be crying and I'll come into her range of vision and she'll get all happy, but if I walk away again she FREAKS! Of course then I go save her. I just hate to hear her cry - she doesn't know what's going on and all she wants is her mommy. :) I like being her mommy I've got to tell you. I really feel like she is something special - I know - every mother says that, but I do. I look at her big smile and she looks at me with those big blue eyes and I swear its like she can see to your soul! And her smile just lights up the room! It's amazing the power a 7 month old can have! I just cannot WAIT to see what she will be like as she grows.
Joey is a great little boy. And I tell you what - he is 100% boy! He loves to play and play and play. He loves his family so much - his aunt Kara and uncle Garrett (kris' little brother and sister). He plays so well with everyone. He just recently started saying prayers all by himself. It took him a while to catch on, but he's really doing well now! It's so cute how he'll say things like 'thank you for mommy and daddy and my cars and my toys' or 'bless the food that I ate today' (at his prayers at night!) And he has such intense emotions it amazes me sometimes. I guess most little kids do, they don't understand how to control them well, not that they should have to! His little feelings get hurt so easily and he's so perceptive of other people's feelings. I'm interested in how he'll do when he starts school. He's not good at writing at all! Not coloring or anything to do with any kind of utensil being in his hand. But he does have quite a bit of social skills. Hopefully it'll all balance out when he's going to school with kids his age. I worry about the writing thing... aren't kids supposed to be able to draw 'stick people' by now? or a straight line? Or at least hold a pencil right? He gets plenty of opportunities, but I don't dwell on it because I know I'll get frustrated and I know that's not fair to him. So just like I did with the potty training, I'll wait till he's ready to learn instead of insisting on teaching him. I do love the little guy sooooo much. He tries so hard to do what is right.
As for me, I'm doing pretty well! I don't get near enough time to myself, but at this stage, with 2 small kids at home, who does?? I am grateful that I have Olivia (my horse). I don't get to ride or spend much time with her alot - most the time it is just go and feed her and clean her stall, but that is good enough. I think I'm glad I got an older horse because if I had gotten a younger horse that needed alot of work, I wouldn't have the time for it. But Oliva is almost 25 now, so the fact I can only ride once a month is probably a good thing - I don't want to over ride her and end up hurting her. Someday when my kids are older I will get my 'dream horse' - a project horse I can work with and train myself and show and all that stuff. But who has the time to spend 2 to 3 hours with a horse daily when you have 2 small kids?? Someday though.... :-) I do so love horses - there is something about the dance of working with them - it amazes me how a person can control a 1500 lb animal. It's such an amazing partnership - I just can't explain it.
Hmmm - I think I'm done rambling now... I'm tired and I should be in bed - lord knows little Savanna will wake up to eat in only an hour or so. Yes, she still wakes up about twice a night to nurse, but honestly I don't care. I know at 7 months she should be sleeping through the night, but I actually kind of cherish those night time feedings - it only takes her about 5 minutes to eat and go back to sleep and she's SO sweet and cuddly at that point. I know I won't get to do that for long. As much as I love my sleep, I love spending time with that baby better - when she's all sleepy and cuddly anyway! Thankfully she doesn't cry at night much...
Ok - now I'm really done - I'm sure this won't be my only rambling post... sometimes I just like to chat. :) Yay for journalling!
1 week ago
